My Celebrity Crush

I have a crush on a lovely young artist named Chris Piers. He enjoys drawing monsters, ladies, cocks and sometimes balls. He's quite strapping and dashing. I think he likes me too. I'm going to mail him my panties. Don't tell Herbert.

Complete Sentence

The museum has become quite tiresome.

We All Have Goals

On this day, I spent the greater portion (at least 82 percent) of my neuroligal (brainwave) synopses on brushing up my skill at the ancient art of swallowing. One thing I noticed is that it helps to chew first. Tomorrow I shall try swallowing the following:

Beef Tenderloin
A Staple
Seven Lbs of Unpeeled Raw Garlic
Half a Small Child (small being a relative term) (child being a relative term)
One Slice of Toast
Gravity